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They Made Us Attend A Divorce Hearing Before Getting Married

I’m sure it was more embarrassing for them than it was eerie for us.

Our marriage counselor required us to attend a public divorce hearing before our wedding date.

Hang on, before you think this was twisted and unprofessional-hear me out.

I’m sure it was more embarrassing for them than it was eerie for us.

Our marriage counselor required us to attend a public divorce hearing before our wedding date.

Hang on, before you think this was twisted and unprofessional-hear me out.

There we were sitting in the back of the courtroom watching this family go through what looked to be the toughest time of their lives. The wife was clearly hurt and the husband did all he could to save face. It was clear at multiple points of the discussion that he was deeply devastated.

Sway and I just sat there with our palms sweaty as we looked at each other knowing that by God’s grace this cannot be our story. That was almost 10 years ago and we still cling to our unified desire to never allow the ‘D’ word to enter our lexicon when speaking to one another. No matter how ‘passionate’ our conversations get.

I know they say that you should never say never, but this is one time we both declared never!

Interestingly enough, we read a statistic that said married entrepreneurs divorce at a rate of nearly 65%!

Given the prevalent rate of divorce in this country coupled with that of married entrepreneurs-how will we defy those numbers AND scale our business without sacrificing our marriage on the altar of ambition?

For all the late hours and burning of the midnight oil that comes with being an entrepreneur we struggled with not imitating the overly sensationalized concept of a ‘power couple.’

We realized that to become an actual couple of power we would have to define success on our terms and in accordance with our core values.

The plan was to not make money the goal but rather a tool to help us achieve our goals.

That may sound strange but it’s a real thing. We made making memories through travel and having experienced more important than amassing material items. Now that’s not to say that we don’t enjoy certain materials, however, we know that memories last much longer.

It didn’t take but a few years (after my getting fired from the bank) that we started having money spats. I was a new entrepreneur and after a few clients had dried up I found it challenging to regain traction and acquire new business. I was slipping on keeping up with the household budget and got into a funk.

Sway and I had to have numerous heart-to-hearts in order to get back on the same page. She had lost confidence in my leadership which only sent me further into a slump. I knew I needed to get myself together and make a comeback for our family.

I took it back to the old-school and purchased a ledger from an office supply store and began keeping track our money instead of relying on the online banking (which we all know can get tricky when your money cyclical). Also, I started getting back to my sweet spot of providing value and networking with small business owners.

I learned while in that slump that entrepreneurs have to get really good at allocating resources particularly when the money flow is irregular.

Before creating the quintessential storm for divorce, I started praying and pulling myself up out that ditch. Sway was always right there and never lost hope in our vision for both our marriage and our business.

Today we’re thriving in our businesses more than ever and our marriage feels more bulletproof than that day we sat in that heartbreaking divorce preceding.

We don’t know whatever happened to that couple but we pray that any bitterness has been healed.

Cheers to keeping it strong!

If you two are seeking steps to streamline your efforts and stay on the same page, while increasing your business, we’re offering a special V-Day coaching opportunity that is the antidote for virtually everything married entrepreneurs need to get unstuck. Check it out here.

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