The Theory That Mixing Marriage and Business Is Toxic

Written by on July 2, 2019

Not too long ago we pitched ourselves to speak on a panel about marriage and business. 

Initially, we weren’t even going to pitch ourselves to speak but when we saw the background of the other couples, we felt it was our duty to represent a married couple with years under our belt and we’re not letting up. (On the panel: one couple was divorced and still partners in business and the other couple was newly married probably under 30 days). 

When our pitch was declined, we were told that they were taking a different angle because in the past they have had ‘happily’ married couples on the panel giving all the right answers but ended up in divorce court shortly afterward!

So, in the event of not being ‘shamed’ by another married couples faking happiness, they decided to only present a divorced and newlywed couple.

We were devastated at what the non-existing options were for other married couples to get advice from married couples who made it through years of building and still healthy. 

We attended that same conference and the advice given from the stage was to AVOID going into business with your spouse at all costs.

Wow.

THIS is why we’re addressing the mindset that going into business with your spouse is toxic.

So, today it’s a little bit of a rant we would say….

Probably the biggest hangup couples have with regards to starting and scaling a business together right now, is the belief that marriage and business don’t mix and can only take you but so far.  

It’s pretty easy to come to that conclusion when:

  1. We live in a rush and hustle culture that presents the clock as something that controls us vs. the other way around without taking time to define success for us
  2. You two are so different and have varying views of how to move forward.
  3. It’s challenging to get a simple date night in without talking about business, it’s easy to turn into roommates
  4. You’re constantly running doing mostly non-revenue activities because they need to be done and you’re not taking time daily to update each other on specific needs. 

The logical conclusion is…working together can only take you but so far so you might as well go at it on your own. 

Here’s why that’s a TERRIBLE conclusion.

Because marriedpreneur couples are the ones to live out the power of two in legacy building and culture shapping. It’s time to redefine marriedprenuership because we all are carrying ideas about what a healthy marriedpreneur couple is (and isn’t).

There are however a few things COMMON about marriedpreneurs that are toxic to the business and marriage:

  • Fake it til you make it IG stories
  • Lack of real communication that builds systems and support
  • Date nights turning worknights
  • Mix matching roles, or winging it
  • Working on non-revenue generating activities (mostly)
  • Building multiple revenue streams before the core stream is flowing (this never ends well)
  • Lack of visibility systems on and offline
  • Uncertainty about dream client, so you settle for whosoever will…

Frankly, these are the reasons that many struggle with working together and closing the right clients…consistently.  

But really, if we redefine the word “marriedprenuership” as a powerfully breakthrough covenant partnership, now it sounds awfully silly to say marriage and business don’t mix.

Why? Because…

  1. Building business with a team is the fastest way to grow and scale on and offline. YOUR marriage is called to bring more impact and more income and comes by working together.  👍
  2. Pairing marriage and business is the best way to build a solid legacy for future generations. Marriage is a sure wealth builder, adding business with it only intensifies its power and ability to pass it down. 😆
  3. Businesses coupled with marriage are still a valid way to innovate your own path with your unique story. There’s simply nothing quite like creating your unique voice in the marketplace with your spouse that your audience gushes over whenever you share.  

Mixing marriage with business is a FANTASTIC way to build, define, and increase. Marriedprenuers along with a clear blueprint of the next steps are doubly powerful.

So why would anyone write off the single most powerful way to build a legacy? Why would you write off creating an impact, increasing income, and the logical trajectory of growth because maybe yours happens to struggle, or some Internet Marketer is trying to throw rocks against it for his own gain?

If we flip this script for a second, we’re going to say this….

The couples who become MASTERS at blending marriage and business, the couples who go deep in understanding the psychology of working together, the sequencing of a smart business model, the way to build rapport with a market…those are the couples that are going to make as much money as they want while the rest of the masses go off believing that it won’t work. 

Here are some of the ways learning how to blend and build marriage and business helps you in the long run …

It helps you stand out in the marketplace in your sales copy.

Yup. Your story as a couple is unique and attracts others to you. There’s a saying that goes, facts tell stories sale. You can turn your story into sales copy in a hot minute. In fact, with a bunch of our current clients, we are turning their stories into sales copy in video and written format for people who prefer to read. If you don’t want to write sales copy, write your story of building together and your why and turn it into a sales letter.

It helps you figure out scalability with specific roles that work for you both 

Whether you’re rolling out a new series on IGTV, a new podcast, or even just a bunch of Facebook posts, have you ever gotten frustrated with wondering who should be doing what?  We started doing super short daily meetings for accountability and productivity in the business a few years ago. Each session is really a small part of a larger marriedprenuer vision. Roles change as progress changes. 

The same goes with any other business models you two may be building. 

It helps you figure out how to build a legacy, by tapping into each other’s gifts and uniting your vision

I guarantee if you sit down to write what you want your marriage and business to look like BEFORE you launch your next venture, you will be more productive, focused and profitable than ever before. The actual act of creating a vision together puts you two in the unique position of looking at your marriage and business from both the angle of where you are and where you desire to be, right? You’re trying to create a marriage and business you will love. That dual angle of looking at things gives you a 360 view that allows you to see your blind spots.

In fact, we use this same principle when we produce our podcast episodes. We just wrote a new episode the other day – even while the points were still foggy. By the time we were done with the episode, EVERYTHING we had questions about became clear.

Marriedpreneur couples aren’t even close to being impossible, but you may need the following…

  • It might be time to get creative with HOW you two use tried and true systems that you may have been implementing along the way (and need tweaking now).
  • It also might be time to observe best practices of experienced marriedpreneurs and how they learn how to create and walk out powerful strategies, but they DO NOT GET STUCK TO IT.
  • It might be time to learn new methodologies for communicating with each other and get a fresh perspective about what each of you brings to the table. (We can often take that for granted and realize we’ve been sleepin’ on gold!) 
  • It might be time to revisit your business model and consider the voice you two are creating in the marketplace (even if it’s just one of you as the face of business) and redefine your dream client (who will require less time and energy while making you more money). 

If mixing marriage and business for you two is a struggle, it’s an easy out to decide that it just doesn’t work and it’s time to go do it solo without your spouse.  Which is cool if you’re willing to miss out on the all the legacy building experiences you two can create together and model for future generations, but we would gently suggest to reframe the thought of mixing marriage and business as a powerful lifestyle elevation and decide…

Maybe it’s time to study new ways to create the marriage and business you love!  

Here’s to living profitably in purpose,

OL and Sway

P.S. The Marriedpreneur Growth Kit is launching July 8th, and this blog post is a precursor to the training that will be coming when Marriedpreneur Growth Kit launches. We’re tired of watching couples stay stuck in systems that don’t fit their business or marriage, and if we all just implement the right strategies with the right mindset, then the old lies about marriage and business never mixing…will no longer be the norm. Let’s go shift the culture!


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