There are times when my wife says that she feels like she’s in the dark and like she’s not in the know about certain things pertaining my specific areas of responsibility.
I get that. It makes sense to me why she would feel that way.
We’ve all heard that men tend to deal with pressure silently while women are generally more vocal.
I think that holds some truth, although I know there are many exceptions to factor.
How we were raised plays a huge role!
Since we married I’ve learned some difficult lessons about managing pressure and not allowing it to have a negative impact on our marriage and business. It seems like stress is as common as breathing for so many husbands. That’s not to say that wives don’t feel the pressures of marriage and entrepreneurship too.
I know much better than that-
I think what’s so amazing is how we differently we process the pressure.
I’ve spent a great deal of time processing pressure by silence and poor communication. This has proven to NOT be so beneficial for our marriage nor business. In fact, in many ways it’s only added to some of the pressure.
Below are two gems about us husbands that I’ve worked through personally and have shared with our clients. We’ve seen how these practices have helped husbands to be more available, present in the relationship and even less defensive when responding to questions.
One: Husbands need to know that their insight has value and is desired.
Otherwise, he’ll just say whatever he needs to say to get through the conversation. As men when we learn how to endure in order to evade conflict early in life. Sway will often ask for my thoughts about a solution instead of just telling me hers. Ultimately, when she does this, I feel like a valued stakeholder in our life and not just the ‘strong arm’ who performs her wishes.
Two: Husbands think about things by not thinking about things.
I know this sounds like an oxymoron but it’s true. One of the ways most of us men handle pressure is to step away from the ‘drama’ in order to tap into that creative space for solutions and strategy. A daily ‘step away’ is like going into a mental war room for most men. What’s MOST important is that we as husbands communicate that to our wife. Often times, Sway will ask me something and I’ll be silent. She’ll ask for my thoughts (again) and I’ll say… “Okay, I’m thinking.” Sometimes, I’ll step away and with time come back with an idea I can be confident in. We can’t rush this process.
These are just a few areas of awareness that have helped us along this journey of marriage and business building. It’s been so awesome to hear how it’s helped many married entrepreneurs get positive traction in their communication.
We pray this helps you two;-)
Cheers to living powerfully in-sync this year!
P.S. If you two are seeking more strategies like this to grow in your marriage and business, schedule a comp strategy call with us. The ‘comp’ part will be going away Jan 31st (and we only have a few more spots remaining). So, if you want in, schedule it now