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How We Went From the Combative to Collaborative

There’s nothing more frustrating than being frustrated with your spouse.

Whenever there’s a breakdown in communication and both of our edge, it makes the seem long and blah!

We’ve definitely had our share of tough days and tough months

It’s really bad when both of you are being defensive.

Trying to communicate when your emotions are on edge and you’ve both been holding things in…sheesh!

There are times when it’s almost automatic to misconstrue what the other person is saying.

This makes marriage feel like a field of landmines. Either of you could blow at any moment!  In fact, I can’t think of anything more distressing than feeling combative with your spouse when you two should be collaborative.

When things are combative the days look like:

  • Wake-up say the bare necessities to each other
  • Bury yourself in anything (even tasks you hate) just to appear like you’re not avoiding them
  • Critique their work just to find the slightest error so you channel anger at them (passive aggressive)

It’s even worse when you can’t get around coming together for the business:

  • So one of you says very little as you’ve committed to punishing them with a bare minimum contribution.
  • So you stretch out your list of to-do’s to appear productive as though you don’t need or desire their input
  • Then you leap ahead in the game plan for the biz and allow them to feel like a slacker

Doesn’t all this sound terrible?

We know it does, yet too many married entrepreneurs allow themselves to go down this road.  And yes, we’ve been there, that’s why I feel these words so deeply.

So what happens when life demands that you two get and stay on the same page?  All married entrepreneurs come to a point where they must deal with the real issues that hurt our relationship and hinder the growth in our business.

We’ve learned that life’s circumstances will expose the vulnerabilities in both the marriage and business if we fail to communicate and establish a Marriedpreneur Vision.

When the marriage isn’t first and we cling to our individual need to be right, nobody wins. And yes, the marriage will pay the greatest cost.

We’ve had to personally commit to working as a team and collaborate when least feel like it.  

Conflict makes the journey miserable.  

If you’re finding it difficult to work powerfully in-sync you maybe in a place of chronic conflict. Not to be confused with the occasional rub/friction but rather, an ongoing uptightness.

If you’re making pretty good money in the business but with great sweat and toil, I can assure there’s a hole in the system. A hole in the system creates a loss of revenue.

We’ve had to fix these same issues at different points in our marriage and business (and continue to do so as it’s an ongoing process).  

It’s worth the work it requires because it works.

Here’s what really helped us to turn things around:

  • Establish a marriedpreneur vision that puts the marriage at the center of all you do and the business is an extension of the marriage (vs. vice versa).
  • Communicate in a way that’s healthy and safeguards you two from the misunderstandings that cause combat in the first place
  • Identify your different areas of strength and how they work best to compliment each other

It’s going to take real systems for you two to work powerfully in-sync AND enjoy the journey together! 


We invite you to connect with our community of  thriving married entrepreneurs who are implementing our strategies in strengthening their marriage and grow their business.