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Attention Husbands: The Secret Is In What You Don’t Want

Back in the day, I used to keep a “to-done list” on my desk. It was a list of everything completed from my to-do list. Later, I created another list called a “don’t-want-to list.”

Yes, I made a daily list of all the things I didn’t want to do but had to do.

If you were anything like me, you learned to make a daily to-do list to accomplish things. The problem is that my to-do list always had stuff I hated and didn’t want to do. 

Generally, men don’t like to-do lists. We prefer to keep things in our heads-which is a recipe for forgetting critical details.

More to the point, keeping a to-do list and adding a don’t-want-to-list was crucial for winning the day.



Let me break down four reasons a don’t-want-to-list works in perfect tandem with a to-do-list:

  1. A don’t-want-to-list that stands out and is hard to ignore. Part of the reason it’s easy for us husbands to put off less desirable tasks is they’re often blended in with more desirable (fun) tasks. In other words, the drudgery stuff gets pushed down the page.
  2. A don’t want-to-list often includes the more important responsibilities that take time. By isolating them to a separate list, they pose a threat that inspires you to tackle them.
  3. A don’t-want-to list works perfectly alongside a to-do list as it sits as a test before a reward. There’s a payoff for getting them done.
  4. Combining things we don’t want to do with what we desire to can toy with the psyche. It can make us feel like we didn’t earn the right to more fun work. Doing the fun stuff in the business is best enjoyed with the hard stuff out of the way.

Moreover, a don’t-want-to-list keeps us honest about building a legacy with our wives and in real-world leadership. Leadership is often loaded with things we prefer to avoid doing. It fortifies character and integrity.

A don’t-want-to list builds toughness and makes us mentally sharp.




If you’re looking for insights on systems that help keep you two working powerfully in sync and spending more time in your areas of gifting, If you’re looking for insights on strategies that help keep you two working powerfully in sync and spending more time in your areas of gifting, schedule a free success mapping call with us here.

Here’s to living purposefully, powerfully, and profitably in sync,

We’re rootin’ for you!