Relationships can be a funny thing. Healthy communication doesn’t seem to come as easy as poor communication.
Before Sway and I were married I used to think I was exceedingly patient and didn’t have a selfish bone in my body.
One day we were having a ‘discussion’ about something and at one point I decided sarcasm would be best. Sway was both offended and hurt by my smug tone.
I SO blew it…😞
We tend to carry into adulthood some very childish ways and they have a way of surfacing in marriage and business.
We have to learn what it takes to have healthy relationships and then practice the behaviors that promote them. This is not natural since we all come into this world inherently selfish.
NOTE: A lack of sharing, respect, and patience are signs of immaturity and show that in some way or another we’re still babies and have more growing to do. To that end, this simple truth shouldn’t be an excuse for being in a destructive relationship. Use wisdom and be honest with yourself.
Like anything else, we need to know what success looks like and consciously put forth the effort if we’re to win in this area. A practical question would be, how do you experience a healthy relationship if you’ve never seen one modeled for you?
I’ve got news for you, even if you have seen a healthy relationship, these things still require MUCH WORK!
It wasn’t until I was twelve years old before I observed a framework elements of what a healthy relationship looked like and exhibited on daily basis.
Like many others, I had to pick up pieces of wisdom along the way and try to put them together like a puzzle with minimal details. No one has perfected all the pillars of a healthy relationship; we simply work on them daily. Through trial and error, deliberate effort to learn and grow, and scripture as my standard, I’m confident these four principles will help.
These pillars are NON-NEGOTIABLE.
A classic textbook definition limits the meaning of respect to someone having a deep admiration for something or another person. However, a closer look at the origin of this word actually means to build/lift up or to construct (with a masculine approach). Now we’re on to something! When a relationship has a foundation of respect, a person will build by being an empathetic listener, and one who encourages the other person. A person will work with great effort to ensure the other person is being honored. This principle is fundamental to a healthy relationship.
This is always an interesting word in regards to how its commonly used and what images it evokes. To sacrifice simply means to replace or prolong a particular desire/position in order to achieve a higher (more honorable) goal. A healthy sacrifice is ALWAYS motivated by love. It’s selflessness at its best!
Note: this is a sign of great strength and maturity
A healthy relationship promotes ideas, creativity, and expectancy for the future. You’ll know you’re in a healthy relationship when your outlook for the future brings you joy about the possibilities. A toxic relationship will often dost your expectations about the future.
Trust is established through consistency in productive behavior. You’ll know if trust is present when your expectation about the relationship ensures a sense of peace and confidence. Doubt and a lack of trust will compromise the integrity of any relationship every time.
Let’s all keep getting better. You know the saying… “The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.’
P.S. We’ll be the first to admit that these challenges are NOT new to us. We’re working on these principles daily. They’ve become our ground rules for healthy communication. And yes, it’s benefited the business in a powerful way!
As married entrepreneurs, there are some non-negotiable principles if you two are going increase your business while keeping your marriage and family solid.