Thinking ‘Single’ When Married (and what it’s taught me about entrepreneurship)
Written by OL & Sway on September 6, 2018
Before we were married I basically had no one to answer to for my schedule, time or money. In other words, my ideas were my ideas and what I thought about a matter was all there was. Period. As you’re reading this you and I both know that this does NOT fly in a healthy marriage.
This is a progressive process though.
It doesn’t happen overnight.
I recall one conversation in particular that helped me realize how thinking like a single person while married would cost me!
We were only married for a few months at the time. We were having a financial goals conversation. Although we had not started a savings account yet, I made a decent amount through investing. From that conversation, my wife suggested that we start by putting those funds into a savings account and then start building up the investment account up again.
I didn’t want to do it.
I worked diligently to get traction in my investment account and I really didn’t think that was the way to go.
The discussion stayed on the table for a while. Finally, I had to remember that it’s no longer just MY money and since I didn’t have a better plan on how to bolster our savings account, I agreed to transfer the investment funds to our new savings account.
It took about 3 days for it to be finalized.
Would you believe, that our transmission in our car went out the SAME day the transaction finalized?
The beautiful thing is that we had the funds available for such an emergency. We didn’t have to figure out how we were going to cover the cost! It was such a relief.
THIS is when I started taking my marriage mindset more seriously. Since then, I’ve launched into my own entrepreneurial endeavors. I’ve found 4 core principles that parallel a marriage mindset to an entrepreneurial mindset. If you’ve checked those boxes off then these principles will speak to exactly where you are now.
📩 Negotiate On Some Things. Unfortunately, the word compromise has been hijacked and given a bad rap. Truth is, successful entrepreneurs are good negotiators. This is also true for being a great spouses too. Compromise is by no means pleasant or easy but it IS necessary for strong business and healthy marriage.
📩 For best results, start with RESPECT. Quite frankly, when I was single I didn’t temper my words and would get myself in awkward situations from time to time. Marriage teaches me not be so thoughtless about my words and the way I respond. Likewise, successful entrepreneurs have to learn to temper their words before they speak. It’s just a good skill to have all the way around.
📩 Emotional Consistency Is A Non-negotiable. As a single person I had a degree of constancy but not nearly to the level I now have as a married entrepreneur. Whatever we do the most of we become good at and known for. Marriage teaches me to be steady (and less moody). With emotional consistency comes a perception of reliability. Likewise, successful entrepreneurs have to be emotionally consistent to prove reliability too. If not, it WILL cost your business.
📩 Effective Communication Will Serve You Well in anything that you do. Marriage teaches me to communicate in a more thoughtful manner. It stretches me to establish complete and coherent thoughts and at the very least talk through my thoughts in a collaborative way. When I worked in banking during my single years being an effective communicator required me to be an empathetic listener. Successful entrepreneurs must possess a level of skill in communicating their messaging as well as listening with heart.
These challenges are NOT new to us. My wife and I have spent years creating and working out strategies to get our business and our marriage on the same page. Letting go of the ‘single-person’ mindset was the first step. Bringing two worlds together takes massive strategy. It takes even MORE strategy to do it as entrepreneurs. At the end of the day, the most sustainable methods to secure your sanity are systems that help you two clearly identify your unique roles and gel them together without high stress and excruciating days. The goal is to build according to what’s ideal versus being reactive to what’s in front of you. Your journey should be enjoyable and profitable.
These systems have not only gotten us on the same page but have saved us precious time every day, prioritized our priorities and helps us move as a unit.
Are you and your spouse ready to implement systems and strategies that bring these kinds of results to your marriage and business?
We can help!
To be considered for a strategy session with us, schedule a discovery call where we can chat with you both about your current systems, goals and desired outcomes.